I’ve been selfish this week.
I was going to write a blog post to discuss my feelings over being offered—and accepting—a full-time, direct-hire job this week after YEARS of temp work. I was going to write about keeping your head up when you’re down, no matter how long you have been down because eventually, when you keep sending good energy out to the universe, good things will come back your way.
Before I wrote the post outlined above, I took a half day off work today to get the drug screen done and to give myself a little more time to get healthy since I’ve been fighting illness for about a week now. I planned to go take care of the test and head home to nap because, well, I needed it.
On the way to the lab, I hit a traffic jam and found it to be odd since it was mid-day. This wasn’t normal mid-day going-to-get-lunch traffic and, after a little bit, traffic just stopped. I made an appointment at the lab, so there was a specific time I was to be there and when the traffic jam happened, I found my mind going negative.
“Oh, come on,” I said.
There may have also been a four-letter word or two as well.
My mind began to over-think, as it does at times and I found myself thinking, “Great, I’m going to be late to the appointment. They’re not going to allow me to take the test. I’m not going to be able to take the test in the timeframe required and I won’t get the job now. Man, it’s always something.”
Trust me, I hate that my brain goes to that place from time-to-time and I continue to work on it daily. I’m proud of my progress, but there continues to be a long way to go to achieve my goal. I was so far into my selfishness, I allowed my brain to go that negative and didn’t realize it until I was absolutely slapped in the face when I changed the radio station.
The station was giving a traffic update and the big talking point was the traffic jam I was currently in, which was caused by a fatal accident only blocks away from the lab where I was heading.
While I was working in the morning, I listened to music the entire time and was not aware of the accident that happened earlier in the day. Here I was, deep into my selfishness and worried about making an appointment, while someone’s life was ending. I was immediately ashamed.
Because of the accident, the road I was going to take was completely shut down, so I had to find another way to my appointment. I went to the next exit and, as I sat in a string of at least fifteen cars at the light, I was in that situation where I was probably not going to make the green light and would have to wait another round.
As I was looking up towards the light and the string of cars in front of me, I noticed there was a man at the intersection holding a sign asking for money. I made a deal with the universe before the light changed that it wasn’t my call to give the man money or not…it was the choice of the universe. I knew if I did have to wait for another light, I would either be the first or second car and would be right there at the man, in perfect position to give him some money.
I didn’t have any money on me, but looked down at the cup holder in my car filled with change. If the universe determined that money wasn’t mine anymore, I would follow the instruction.
The light changed, the cars in front of me made their turns and, as I estimated, I had to wait another round of lights as the very first car in line. I was right there by the man with the sign, so I rolled down my window, called him over and grabbed all of the change.
As I handed the change to him, I felt bad that was all I could do at that moment, but he took it gratefully and thanked me. As he stepped back to the curb, he yelled back at me and told me I was the first person to give him anything all day and flashed me an incredibly wonderful smile. That smile is in my memory bank forever.
While my thoughts tonight are with the family of the semi-driver who passed away today, the universe wanted me not to know about the accident until the moment I did. I was supposed to be in that traffic jam, have to find an alternate route to my appointment and give that man the money today.
It was a very small thing, the least I could do, but I made another human being smile today and, for that, I am proud.
Oh, by the way, after all of this and after my brain going negative as it did…I was actually 10 minutes early to my appointment.
Go figure, huh?